I understand there is no such thing as a perfect Christian, but I find myself wanting and
struggling to live a more Christ-like life. I’d really like to hear what the bible says about the
desire for relationships. How might we deal with the desire for love and not only the friendly like
love? What I understand is it takes discipline and prayer but what else?

Our desire for physical love is a perfectly natural and even a God created/given trait of life. Jesus
said, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify the
Father which is in heaven." By doing good the Christian bears fruit which, to the people of the
world, is a shining light, radiating and reflecting the love of God. However, good work is not the
only way the Christian is made into a shining light. He is to "keep himself unspotted from the
world" (Jas. 1 :27), and to "abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good" (Rom.
12:9). Since the Christian is really not a light except as he reflects Christ, then any impurity in his
life will minimize that light.

We, as Christians, should be very concerned about our purity. It should be so precious to us that
we would protect it at all costs. Having been washed in the blood of the Lamb of God (1 Pet.
1:19) and our robes having become white as snow (Rev. 7;14), we should abstain from “all
appearance of evil” (1 Thess. 5:22). The Christians in Rome were told to “abhor that which is
evil; cleave to that which is good” (Rom. 12:9).

The Christian of today, like those who have gone before us, must have a devotion unpolluted
and unmixed with the world. The failure to keep oneself from defilement will result in a faith
that is weakened and a diluted devotion. James tells us to keep ourselves unspotted from the
world (Jas. 1:27). We must guard ourselves against the contaminations of the world, its pursuits,
ambitions and sinful pleasures. If we want to live with God eternally then our faithfulness should
be our first concern. It should be our priority in life.

The word “unspotted” means “without spot, blemish or stain.” We cannot allow the world to
splash us with its filth and pollution. The world can make us unclean (1 Jn. 5:19). “Friendship
with the world is enmity with God” (Jas. 4:4). In light of this, how meaningful are Peter’s words:
“but as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it
is written, be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Pet. 1:15-16).

Would you go into a coal mine while you were wearing a white tuxedo? Certainly not! You
would give it wide berth. You would not even see how close you could get and stay clean. It
requires rare moral courage to resist evil, and to brave the contempt that could result from
living a worthy life (“wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them into the same
excess of riot, speaking evil of you,” I Pet. 4:4). God will take nothing less than a pure life (Jn.
17:15-16).

Some may ask, “How do I go about keeping myself pure and clean?” The answer is contained in
many references that have to do with our salvation. However, we will look at that of James 1:27
and see the importance of keeping ourselves undefiled with the world. The word “keep”
stresses the idea of practice and the word “unspotted” denotes being unstained. This same
word was used to describe Christ as a lamb for sacrifice (1 Pet. 1:19). This is obviously the
significance of Romans 12:1-2, that is, the offering of ourselves as a “living sacrifice.”

Perhaps purity is not the dearest thing in our lives because we have never experienced the joy
of the cleansing of the old man of sin (Rom. 6:6). Because all have sinned (Rom. 3:32), all men
need the defilements of sin removed. This is done by the blood of Christ (Rom. 5:8-9). The blood
is applied in baptism (Rom. 6:1-6), and even after walking in “newness of life,” His blood
continues to cleanse when we meet the conditions for forgiveness (1 Jn. 1:7-9). We must
purpose to keep ourselves in the love of God (Jude 21). This is the meaning of working out our
salvation and the purifying of our-selves (1 Pet. 1:22; Phil. 2:12).

Imagine the effects in this life of not allowing the demoralizing influence of the world to impact
our personal purity (Jas. 1:27)! Look at a couple of them: (1) For us personally, it demonstrates
that in view of the second coming of Jesus Christ we are diligent to be found by him spotless and
blameless (2 Pet. 3:14). (2) As far as others are concerned, we are trying to always be an
influence for good (Matt. 5:16). Negatively speaking, the unspotted life keeps one from
becoming a stumbling block (Tit. 2:7-8).

The primary reason is the failure of individuals within the world to develop right values and to
resist evil. To change the direction in which things are turning, we, ourselves, must be willing to
conform to the will of God. “Keep thyself pure” (1 Tim. 5:22). The challenge must be recognized
and accepted. Only then will our influence and that of the church affect our society for good.
“Neither yield ye yourselves as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin; but yield yourselves
unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of
righteousness unto God” (Rom. 6:13).

​God made mankind and He knew what would be best, and God made mankind with desires for
relationships There is nothing dirty about it; and nothing is unclean about it; there is nothing.
immoral about it; and we ought not to act like there is. But, just as God made mankind with
certain relationship desires, there are right and wrong ways to gratify these desires. God has
provided His written word as a wonderful guide for any type of relationships we might be
dealing with in our lives!
​